Saturday, October 2, 2010

glutton for punishment

i've decided its time for a change. i want to reclaim my sleep. which means i need to get suriah to somehow sleep better through the night. the only way i can think to do this is to end the all night nurse-a-thons, and the only way i can think to do that is to get her sleeping on her own. i will miss her in my bed but she isnt really all that safe there anymore since she moves so much when she sleeps. so as of tonight i am going to be beyond exhausted....because i am starting to have her sleep in the pack and play. and because i am a glutton for punishment, i also decided to switch emerson to a "big girl bed"...meaning a twin bed. i tried this at naptime and already failed. emerson fell asleep on the floor at the door of the bedroom. hopefully bedtime goes better because i am sure that i will be dealing with a screaming, tired baby as well as trying to get emerson to sleep in her bed. i am prepared to not sleep tonight. and probably tomorrow night as well. i timed this while my parents are going to be gone in the hopes that by the time they return in a few days, the kiddos might be not protesting it so much. i know i have high hopes but i really hope that this goes well....otherwise i wont be sleeping for a LONG time.

i wish i had a partner to help me out with this so i could take naps during the day or maybe have them do a shift at night or even take care of one kid while i take care of the other, but wishing for a partner doesnt change anything, unless a magic genie does exist. if that happens to be the case and i get 3 wishes, i would my partner to also be incredibly hot, be happy at his job which makes lots of money and would like for him and i to be incredibly compatible. not too much to ask for right?? and for my other 2 wishes....i would love to be able to figure out how to work and negotiate daycare and be able to have some money. oh...and having my own place again in an area that i love might be fabulous as well. thanks magic genie. :)

anyway, wish me luck tonight as i embark on changing both kids bedtime routines simultaneously. i might be crazy for doing this but i feel like i might as well live in total hell for a little while rather than a little bit of hell for a long time.... tonight at 8pm it begins.....