don't get me wrong...i LOVE food. i love eating it and i love the way it tastes...i just hate shopping for it, preparing it and cooking it. i love it most when someone else cooks for me. even a sandwich made by someone else tastes better than my own. it's just that food and i don't seem to be having a good time with each other lately. part of this is because of suriah's issues...i can't have any dairy so i am at a loss of what to eat, which sucks. and my past favorites need to be eliminated or substituted with something that usually doesn't taste as good. i am working with it but really, i am sick of having to even think of alternatives. why can't i just go back to eating ice cream and drinking lots of milk??
but anyway, my main point of this post isn't really about food..it's more about MEALS. i know that i can be a good parent. i have worked with kids for years and years and i know i can deal with the crap they eventually bring. i was never worried about whether i would be able to handle my kids....except in one way. i have always worried about feeding them. as previously mentioned, i hate cooking. it's easy to breastfeed or formula feed, but once we start getting into real food, i knew i was gonna suck. and i think it's safe to say that i really do suck at feeding emerson. it's nice that i am now at my parents house, and my mother cooks actual meals because emerson can eat those and isn't forced to eat chef boyardee and peanut butter sandwiches for dinner every night of her life.
granted, she doesn't exactly make this easy on me either. i mean, the kid won't eat grilled cheese sandwiches, mac and cheese or lunch meats. do you know ANY kids who won't eat mac and cheese? i didn't....until i had my own. so i have no idea what to feed this kid. it's beyond frustrating.
so being home takes a bit of that stress off, but i am already anxious for the day that i move out and the feeding of both my kids will lie solely on me. i already feel bad for them. i am hoping that before that day happens, that i magically meet some guy who LOVES to cook and is good at it cuz man, that would make my life a whole lot easier!
i think it's interesting that of all the things that come with parenting, feeding my children is my biggest stressor. i hope i get better at it someday...for the sake of my kids. haha